EP Review: Otherwives – Grace

Ontario-based pop-punk band Otherwives made a strong musical debut earlier this year with the release of its first EP, Grace. With intricate yet nicely-balanced instrumentals and strong, not-quite-nasally vocals, the music is catchy and the melodies are unexpected and cool. There are a lot of moving parts, yet they all fit together quite nicely in a driving pop-punk EP.


The music itself is catchy and unexpected; the only thing I take issue with is the lyrical content. As a musician, it is far too easy to fall into the trope of taking influence from unreciprocated feelings, but when pop-punk bands, in particular, turn the blame onto the woman in the situation, that is when things get problematic.

Not every song on the EP follows this pattern; “…At Night” and “No Progress”, the first and last songs, respectively, are not about women. But on “Built The Same”, frontman Zach Mesic sings,  “All you wanted was to/Call me your friend…But I know someday/That these feelings will change,” showing frustration with the so-called “friend zone” and not accepting that she just might not be into him. Later, on “Catching Feelings”, the angry lyrics blame the woman for catching unreciprocated feelings, and Mesic spits, “She coulda told me that she’d use me as a weapon/Holdin’ on to those thoughts made it harder for me/To get closer to that so-called perfection.”

This may get written off as a bitter, feminist rant as so many often are, but the problem with lyrics such as these is that it is setting a poor example for male and female fans alike. Pop-punk is notorious for having young, impressionable teenage girls as fans, so you can see how it would be problematic for those girls to hear that it is their fault for not loving someone back.

I take particular issue with the fourth track, “I Can’t Take Criticism”, which seems okay until the chorus says, “What’s a boy supposed to do when there’s no one to heal his wounds?” implying that he needs a girl to “fix” him, when in reality, nobody can fix him except himself. When I was in high school, I had an older male friend who told me repeatedly that I was not enough to fix his mental illness and that it was my fault that he wasn’t getting any better, and it was one of the most damaging friendships I have ever been a part of.

Photo by Sebastian Voth.

While the music on Otherwives’s Grace EP is quality, the message that it sends is problematic. But as this is the band’s debut, one can hope that they will change it up on the next release and perhaps not place the blame on women for not reciprocating feelings.


4 thoughts on “EP Review: Otherwives – Grace

  1. This is clearly being taken as a feminist rant, why would you praise them and then turn around to criticize them for some lyrics you claim to be a bad memory for you.. Unless of course the music was written about you(which I’m assuming its not?) Also, you do realize that female artists do the same thing but worse to men?


    1. The music may not be written about me, but this is my blog and I am choosing to relate my real-life experience to show how the mindset of needing a woman to “fix” you is harmful. I understand that women often write problematic lyrics about men, yes, and I would call that out when I saw it, too, because feminism is not only about women, it is about equality for all genders. But on the other hand, the culture of the pop-punk scene is skewed towards blaming and hating women, and it has led to a physically dangerous environment that I will not support. Have you seen the number of pop-punk artists who have been caught in sexual misconduct and assault allegations, especially in the last two years? It’s no coincidence that their lyrics generally place the blame on the woman for not reciprocating feelings, often (although not in this case) depicting violent alternatives. It’s an unhealthy culture and I will never stand for it.


  2. Definitely a feminist rant you’ve decided to post from your own experiences. “Feminist rant” seems to show you wouldn’t have had issue if it were a woman writing about a man. That being said, is writing not allowed to be a form of expressing your own thoughts/feelings anymore?


    1. Contrary to popular belief, feminism is actually about equality for all genders, so I would take issue if it were a female band writing problematic lyrics about a band. I understand expressing thoughts and feelings, but lyrics like these, when a band has fans who most likely take influence from what they’re releasing, encourage an environment that blames women for not liking men back – when in reality, it’s not our responsibility to reciprocate romantic feelings.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s